Days 15-27.
It's been just under two weeks since my last updated blog - and today marks the 27th day of my 32-Day Self-Expression process. My original intention in this process was to connect with myself on a deeper and more authentic level, acknowledging and expressing my TRUE feelings to myself. As a result of that, my intention was to then express my feelings, thoughts, opinions to other people. My intention was to allow myself the freedom to be myself. And what I have learned in the last 27 days goes much deeper than that. What's happened in 27 days is my soul has peeked through the clouds of my Ego and shined so bright that the clouds burned away. After 27 days I am visible, vulnerable, raw, open, authentic, beautiful, and feel like the free-spirited, excited, honest, loving, spunky, cute and creative soul that I am. I haven't been tracking this progress daily because in all honesty, so much was happening every day that it was a challenge to remember to stop and write it all down. So to sum it all up, I will do a 13 day catch up below and pull out the most amazing parts of the past two weeks. Moving forward for the last few days of this process, my intention is to blog daily as a way to fully anchor in what's happening for me right now, because it's just too beautiful not to.
In the past 13 days I have...
Participated in 2 naked photo shoots, one being the most vulnerable experience of my life. I took on a new client, dropped an old client, screamed into the ocean, ran 7 miles (for the first time), went skinny dipping in a pool with a cave, met a new friend, grew closer to another friend, connected with my sister in the most beautiful way, gave my inner child a voice (she LOVES the color pink and eating soup!), and I forgave myself through an hour of tears and chanting. I chanted to Ganesha for 27 days, learned that I don't need to have sex in order to connect, accepted my authentic self as who I really am, challenged myself socially, challenged myself physically, stayed out until 3:30am with two of the most fun people I have ever met, introduced my friend to yoga, experienced the most magical Kirtan of my life, danced, clapped, sang when no one was watching and when everyone was watching. I showed naked photos of myself at a party, had too many glasses of wine, went for a trail run (one of my firsts!), went on a hike, fell down and got muddy, and got up again. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt the swell of my heart as I realized how much I love myself. I prayed, slept, cooked until my hands were tired, listened, spoke, loved, and connected so deeply with someone that I never knew that sort of connection existed. I laughed until my sides hurt, cried until my head hurt, and loved myself through both. I said yes, said no, and learned that all of these things I have been doing I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. Because after so long, I am finally LIVING. I'm not just going through the motions of life - but actually taking a moment to experience and BREATHE IN every moment no matter how uncomfortable or exciting or exhausting it may be.
It's been an amazing two weeks and an even more amazing process to do with myself, especially during the last month of 2012. I am growing, learning, and deepening my love for myself every day and my intention is to keep on going and loving and learning even after the process. I feel like I gave myself a jumpstart and now after years and years, I am so ready to go.
Lots of love to anyone reading this and who has been supporting and encouraging me. It's been the best few weeks of my life.
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