Little Me & the Moon

When I was a little girl, I used to sit on a chair beside my bedroom window, long past my bedtime, and stare towards the moon-lit and star-filled sky. Even at such a young age, I knew it was best to sit there quietly, for it was only when I was quiet that I could hear my thoughts so clearly. Summer months were my favorite, because in addition to listening to my thoughts, I had a beautiful background symphony of crickets to keep my company. I would think of my dreams and of life - of what it meant to me and what it meant to other people. I would look for God and, when I couldn't see him, I would create him in my mind the way I thought he was supposed to look. Sometimes, when it was warm, I would open my windows as far as they would go, inviting in the sweetest, most perfect temperature breeze my skin had ever felt. If the wind was blowing ever so slightly, my hair would lightly move across my face, tickling my chin and nose, only for me to use my index finger to place it back behind my ear, again. And in with the wind would come the beautiful scent of fresh air. Sometimes, if the breeze felt cooler than warmer, I would huddle up in the chair, drawing my legs in near my chest and resting my arms on top. I often felt safest this way, tucked together and warm, surrounded by fresh air, beautiful noises, and the feeling of knowing I had my entire life ahead of me. At only six years old, I knew I was such a young soul on this planet, with an entire lifetime to explore, love, grow, learn, laugh, and enjoy. And somehow, at night, when I felt alone with myself and the moon and sometimes the crickets, my soul felt alive and revived, ready to dance in any shape I asked it to. On nights when the moon was full, a particular playfulness would wash over me and sometimes I would get up out of the chair and dance around my room. Sometimes I would take the crisp sheets from my bed and wave them over my head and behind me, catching the wind and filling like a parachute. And it was these times, with my hair in my face, tickling my nose, and my nightgown flowing, merging into one with the sheets behind me, and my entire house asleep, that I felt the most magical. I felt safe, youthful, energetic, and like I could dance away the entire night, in my room with my breeze and my thoughts, and my perfect view of the moon. Sometimes I would take the sheet, after dancing, and wrap it around my body, and sit in the chair once again. I would feel my heartbeat slow as my body relaxed once again, my eyes turned upward toward the sky, and my thoughts, once again, became one with the night.