Funniest/Sweetest/Most Ridiculous Things I Heard In The Past Week

So, for confidentiality purposes, I will not be using real names in these posts. Instead I will refer to the 4-year-old munchkin as Monkey, and the (almost) 6-year-old munchkin as Z. Monkey and Z. If you knew them you would be chuckling with me because it fits them well.

Anyway, I try to write down the funny, ridiculous, and sweet things they say, so I remember them. This is the best of what I heard in the past week or so.

From Z:

1. "I am actually 16 but in a 5 and 3/4 year-olds body. I can also drive. I could get us to camp faster than you can."

2. "This traffic is a nightmare. You should have taken Sunset."

3. "I think you love Monkey more. Do you feel guilty that I am upset?"

4. "You have nine boyfriends. I will tell you their names."

5. "Ice cream is healthy because it has kelp in it. My teacher says so and she is the smartest smarty pants. I want ice cream every day now." (Thank you, btw, teacher, for this wonderful information!)

6. "I want to punch and choke my sister. Will I get a time out for this? If not, can I choose my consequence?"

7. "Justin Beiber will marry me. I can't wait until we are finally the same age."

8. "My inbox is at it's max and my blackberry is full. Send the PDF to my desktop." (I overheard her say this while playing and was cracking up.)

9. "I'm allergic to peanut butter but not peanuts. They're two different things."

10. "Bedtime means please shut your mouth and eyes." (Said to her sister, of course.)

And from Monkey:

1. "I pee-pee'd in my pants because I really don't like these pants and wanted to change."

2. "I will cry and scream if you bring me to camp today." (She held her word, by the way.)

3. "I watched youtube on the ipad. Z said it was ok. You and Mommy were sleeping." (Ok, parent restrictions, here we come!)

4. "I didn't want my lunch. It was yucky. I threw it out."

5. "I don't like my friends. They all suck their thumbs. They want to be babies." (Mind you, this comes from the same girl who is peeing her pants...)

6. "I will miss you my little noodle pie." (Ok this one made me melt.)

7. "How many days go by until I seeing you again?" (Again with the melting.)

8. "I can swim! I can! But I just can't come up for air."

9. "Today I learned how to wipe my tushie!" (Not so much, but close.)

10. "When you tell me something in the morning, I forget it at camp."

More to come!